Why you can’t give yourself advice

It seems like sometimes I am the giver of the best advice in the universe. But why can’t I give and follow my own advice?

I’ve been consulted many times by family, friends and co-workers to provide my feedback on their most simple dilemmas to the most personal. People always seem to walk away happy about what I’ve shared so shouldn’t that mean I would be able to advice myself? No. Not all the time. I know myself so well that I don’t even know me. I’ve experienced my different personality traits in so many situations that it’s become difficult to understand how I would and should react in many cases and sometimes I can’t seem to advice myself. Have you ever heard someone tell you, “I can’t believe you did that. You’re the one that told me not to.” It’s strange that we forget what we tell people and it’s funny that we don’t follow our own advice.

I believe fear plays a role too. A lot of times my gut feeling tells me what I need to do but my logic kicks in and tells me otherwise. Someone else may find it easy to advise you on your dilemma because they’re not subject to the consequences of your actions. You might be worried about quitting your job or moving to new city and will have fears related to the consequences. Deep down you may know it’s the right move for you but your logic will say, “You have a good thing happening here why would you quit? Why would you leave?” Somebody listening to your dilemma may say something like, “What do you have to lose? You can find another job. Think of the experiences and don’t worry about the future. It’ll work out.” Well, it’s easy for them to say because they don’t have to deal with the consequences.

That’s why we have friends and family. We need them to reiterate what we already know. We need someone to assure us that what we’re doing is okay and sometimes to tell us it’s not. Giving yourself advice is not the easiest thing in the world. If it was then words like “opinion” and “consultant” probably wouldn’t exist because we would never need such a thing. Drop that fear and live your life and listen to that voice deep deep in your heart because:

“A life lived in fear… is a life half-lived.”

― Baz LuhrmannStrictly Ballroom

 

 

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